Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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