I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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