Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
