Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They took my balls.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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