Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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