She's the barista slut.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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