We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
They took my balls.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
