I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
