Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
