Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
