So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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