college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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