I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize