i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
