Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
