ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
