I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
its liver damage thursday
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
