never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
