he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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