I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
