i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
whose parrot is this?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
