It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
