I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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