He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
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we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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