Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
