Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
