My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize