I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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