How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize