When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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