Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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