i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
