The maid of honor just puked.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
