i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
