cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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