I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
