thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
