Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
