We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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