At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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