hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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