there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
