oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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