what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
