My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
