a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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