Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
