She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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