therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
