I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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