I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
