I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
