I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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