I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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