The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
