I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
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I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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