You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
