I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
