Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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