please come you make the beer taste better
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
