the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
