its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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