My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
me + whiskey = a bad person
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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